Since September I have not worked, I have been dealing with something that just came on me. I have had Cerebellar Ataxia, It is a form of ataxia in the lower brain area that attacks balance, walk including eye movements. I have been going to a Neurologist that has helped me a lot and I hope to return back to work in a month, even though at a limited capacity to start.
What is ataxia?: “Ataxia describes the lack of muscle coordination when a voluntary movement is attempted. It may affect any motion that requires muscles to work together to perform a function, from walking to picking up an object to swallowing.”
Through this whole thing I have learned so much if it had not happened to me. It is in this blog I want to share some of them with you.
I have gained a new respect and understanding of the disabled and their care givers. We really learn that our bodies are not our own, we cannot control what is turned on or off about us. We only own the choices we make in life.
I am so glad that I wasn’t healed through a miraculous event; even though when this happened to me I wanted it and prayed for it. But my Maker with great wisdom chose for me to go through this a part of my journey in life.
Those that know me know that psalms 145 has become a major part of my life. Verse 9 says so much.
Psalms 145:9
The Eternal is good to all, and His compassion is over all His creation.
Right off the bat we see that the Creator is not only good but His compassion is spread over all His creation. For us that are God Fearers that speaks volumes.
- That the Creator is involved with everything He creates and that He cares for it.
- The Creator is good to all, not some. His actions of good and compassion is not based on our beliefs.
- The verse can have an impact of understanding what is good and bad. The actions of the Creator is all good and there really is no bad. This leads us to the true level of biblical emuna/faith. From Breslev Israel and Rabbi Shalom Arush his explanation of what emuna/faith is as follows. “1. Basic-level emuna: This is the firm belief that everything comes from Hashem by way of perfect divine providence, even the tiniest and most seemingly insignificant event. 2. Intermediate-level emuna: In addition to flawless basic emuna, the intermediate believes that everything Hashem does is for the very best. 3. Upper-level emuna: In addition to solid basic and intermediate level emuna, the upper-level individual believes that Hashem does everything for a specific purpose, and that every one of Hashem’s actions conveys a special message.”
What I learned that through this is that it not involve my faith but also my actions. My faith led me to the right doctor who the Creator used in His compassion but it involved me following what the doctor said as well and coupled together I am getting better.
See it all was for my good not harm.
Even through this, though I have not worked, the Creator even helped us through our finances. During this time giving to help others was not haltered.
Whatever a person is going through, it is for there betterment even if it is not clear to them at the beginning.
Sometimes the Creator has more for us in the journey than a direct, instantaneous miracle.
Be thankful of the journey.
Emuna Trek 